Vernon's Quest
by snuffysam
Summary: In the beginning of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry tells Sirius in a letter that Dudley was so angry at his diet that he threw his new Playstation out of the window. If you know your Harry Potter, you'll know that this part takes place in the summer of 1994. Problem is, the Playstation wasn't released in Europe until 1995. This story attempts to explain said anomaly.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

The black car pulled into the driveway of Number 4, Privet Drive. Vernon Dursley cut the engine and stepped outside, careful not to ruin his immaculate lawn. He looked up at the living room window and sighed with the knowledge of what awaited him inside. June really was the worst time of year. For one, the Potter boy was back home from his ridiculous school. His very presence in the home was disturbing the peace. For another, Dudley's birthday was coming up quickly. As much as Vernon loved his little boy, his demand for presents was insatiable. And with Grunnings doing so poorly this past quarter, he wasn't sure he could afford to suppress his son's need for luxury. Finally, Vernon decided to face his family and stop standing out in this summer night.

It was just as he feared. Potter was cooking the dinner- a meatloaf that was quickly turning into a meat puddle- as Petunia yelled at him to stop messing up the meatloaf while yelling at him to continue to make the meatloaf. Dudley was sitting on the sofa watching T.V., attempting to distance himself from Harry and his horrid food. Vernon walked into the house without even attempting a "hello" towards his wife. He knew that in this state, it was near impossible to keep her from turning her fury from Potter towards himself. Instead, he turned to his 14 year old son and greeted him with a smile and a pinch on the cheek. Dudley ignored him and continued to stare at the television. Vernon looked up to see what sort of programming was this enthralling. He sighed. It was an advertisement. This one was for something called a "Playstation". Apparently it a was a new video game console, this time made by Sony. It didn't look cheap. Vernon hoped to god that Dudley wouldn't ask for it. Right in the middle of the advert, however, Dudley turned to his father.

"I want it," said the monstrous boy.

Vernon sighed yet again. He knew it would come to this. His only hope was to come up with some excuse. He scanned the screen, looking for something that would keep this device out of Dudley's hands. He saw what he was looking for and lit up. This would surely keep the whale at bay!

"I can't get it," replied Vernon. "It hasn't been released yet. See? The advert says that it won't be released until next year."

Vernon relaxed. Just as he was about to go over to the kitchen and help Petunia yell at Harry, those destructive words again berated his ears.

"I want it NOW."

The dreams of a peaceful summer crashed around Vernon Dursley. He would have to deal with this nightmare until Dudley went back to school next fall.

"But Dudley, it isn't in any stores. I can't get it for your birthday this year. Maybe they will have it out by next year's birthday?"

"No! That's not good enough! I want it for my birthday THIS YEAR!"

"But that's IMPOSSIBLE."

"You better get me a Playstation or else... or else I'll EAT everyone in the neighborhood!"

Vernon stopped. Eat everyone in the neighborhood? Was that even possible? Dudley certainly had the size necessary to pull such a stunt off. But could he follow through with the threat?

"Supper-time!" yelled Petunia from the dining room. Dudley turned off the television and ran to the supper table. Vernon breathed a sigh of relief that the confrontation had ended there. He shambled into the dining room and sat down at his usual spot. Petunia was serving food, and Dudley was already seated. Harry came in from the front yard with a pile of letters and plopped them right in front of Petunia, then sat down without a word. Petunia picked up the first letter. It had the Smeltings emblem on it, and Vernon knew this was not a sign of good things to come. He stared down at his food. It seemed as if all the violent talks with the school nurse had not paid off in the end. Dudley would have to go on a diet. Petunia read the letter aloud, tears in her eyes. As the list of foods his son could eat ended, Dudley slammed his fists down hard on the table, almost knocking over his water glass. Petunia assured Dudley that the whole family would partake in the diet too, but this was a meager bargain. The Potter boy ate his food as quickly as possible, then excused himself to his room. Vernon just stared down at his plate. He knew this would be the trigger that would push his son over the edge.

Later that night, Vernon lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The rest of the family was sound asleep, but Vernon was turning his fears over in his mind. He knew Dudley would stop at nothing to get his presents, and he knew that this diet was just enough to turn his son into a cannibalizing monster. He thought of the discussions with the police on how his son turned on the entire neighborhood. He thought of everyone at work laughing at him- assuming, of course, that Dudley hadn't gotten to them too. There was no other option. He would have to go Sony's headquarters and beg them for a Playstation.

Vernon got out of bed and went downstairs. He was almost out the door when he realized- This wasn't going to just be a simple drive. Sony's headquarters were in Japan. Plane tickets out of the country were not going to be cheap. He doubted he could even afford it. He reached into his pocket to see how much cash he had on him. As he fumbled through the pocket of his dressing gown, it dawned on him that most of his money would be in his wallet, which was still upstairs. Before he turned around to go there, however, Vernon found something in his dressing gown pocket. It was a small key. It fit in the cupboard under the stairs, where he kept all of Potter's school clothes and other items. Magic. Just the word was sickening.

Then, Vernon had an idea. Potter's broomstick could fly. That was the whole point, wasn't it? Perhaps he could take the broom and use it to get to Japan! Then Vernon stopped. Was he really going to resort to using magic? He thought back to all the times Dudley threw temper tantrum after temper tantrum because he didn't get the presents he want. He thought of all the bills he had to pay, and how a plane ticket might throw his family into the poorhouse. It was settled. He would take the broomstick.

Vernon grabbed a cooler from a back room and filled it with everything he thought he might need- food, water, blankets, and tools. He took his compass and stuck it in his pocket. He turned to the cupboard. This was it. No turning back now.

Vernon stuck the key in the lock and opened the door. There was a trunk, some ties, and what looked to be some sort of silvery robe. Then he saw it, in the back of the room. The broomstick. It looked very expensive, as far as brooms go, and there was a gold etching in the handle: "Firebolt". Vernon hesitated before taking it.

"Desperate times..." he muttered, as he grabbed the broom and left the closet.

Vernon carried the broom and his supplies outside. He attached the cooler using some bungee cords he had lying around in a closet.

Vernon sat on the broom, wishing he wasn't so afraid of heights. He looked up at the sky, then closed his eyes.

Vernon Dursley pushed his feet on the ground and took off.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Air whooshed past Mr. Dursley's face. After what seemed to be the longest time, Vernon opened his eyes and saw clouds right in front of his face. He was flying.

Vernon looked down and saw his town below. He suddenly had a sense of how high he was and grabbed the broom tightly in his meaty hands. Little Whinging had no idea what terrors he was saving them from or what horrors he was going through to prevent those terrors.

Finally, Vernon got his bearings. He gently pushed the broom handle forward until it was level with the ground. The broom stopped climbing. Vernon remarked in his head how remarkable it was that the broom could handle his weight, and how unnaturally comfortable the shaft was as a seat.

Vernon took out his compass. His hand was almost frozen at this altitude, but Vernon didn't care. He looked down at the dial. He was headed south-east. Vernon wasn't sure what sort of route he would take to Japan, but he supposed that if he followed landmarks it shouldn't be too hard.

Vernon looked down again. Very few cars drove around at this hour. He wondered what someone would see if they looked up. A man his size riding such a tiny broom? It would look completely ridiculous!

Then another thought came to mind. What if someone recognized him? He'd be a laughingstock! Riding around on a broom? His colleagues would make him into an outcast!

But the thought passed.

"At this height," Vernon supposed, "people are more likely to mistake me for an oddly shaped balloon."

Once the Firebolt was headed in a constant direction, Vernon relaxed a little. He was still very cold, but the stars above comforted him.

He was halfway across the Channel when he realized he was still in his nightgown.

For a brief moment, he considered turning back. But he decided against it. Dudley's Playstation wasn't going to deliver itself!

The sun was rising as he passed Paris.

"Time for some breakfast," Vernon said to nobody in particular.

He turned around, opened the cooler and took out one of the eggs he had taken. Staring at the eggs, he realized that they were completely useless without a way to cook them. He considered eating the eggs raw, but instead threw them over the edge onto a group of unsuspecting tourists. He took out the bread and jam and ate that instead.

He passed the Eiffel Tower, as per his plan of sticking to landmarks. He turned a little bit east at that point, so that he could keep to the parts of Europe that he learned about in geography class.

The morning was spent sailing over the French countryside. Vernon began to feel sleepy at this point. He had not really slept the night before, and just watching grass and trees pass by below him was fairly boring. He knew he mustn't fall asleep, however, or he would crash and Dudley would never get his Playstation.

After a while, he started to feel hungry again. Vernon looked at his watch. It was half-past noon. He turned around, trying to remember if he'd brought any of their leftover roast beef.

He made a sandwich, substituting cucumbers for pickles. Vernon turned around and went to work eating. Suddenly, he looked up.

There was a giant mountain range right in front of him.

Vernon yanked up on the broomstick's handle. The Firebolt took him higher, over the Alps. Vernon breathed a sigh of relief and continued eating his sandwich.

As he finished his sandwich, Vernon heard a loud crash coming from below him. He looked down once again. He saw what looked to be two poorly dressed men throwing small stones at each other. Then he realized that he was too high up to see any ordinary sized man. These must be giants, like the man who gave Potter the letter three years ago.

Vernon thought about the world. He lived in a suburban paradise, where nothing was went wrong except maybe winning second prize in the best house awards. But his house contained Harry Potter, proof that there was more to the world than just clean contentment. Time and again he tried to stamp the real world out. In the process, he made the mistake of calling his world real and Harry's world make-believe. Perhaps he was the one fooling himself? But then he thought of his family, and all the happy people in the "real" world. Why should his life be ruined just because the reality of life is much grimmer than what meets the eye?

Vernon looked back. One of the giants had killed the other. He thought this was probably some sort of allegory for his life, but he dismissed it.

The Alps passed, and Vernon ducked back down. Oxygen that had been lacking in the past few hours re-entered the large man's bloodstream.

The sun began to set. Vernon turned around to prepare his dinner. He wasn't even sure what sort of foods he had left.

Just then, Vernon heard squacking from behind his back. He turned around to see a cloud of giant white birds- egrets, if he was not mistaken. He turned to avoid them, but it was too late. Vernon crashed into the egrets.

Vernon felt his grip slipping. The broom was falling out from underneath him. Vernon screamed in terror as he and his transport came tumbling to the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Vernon landed in a large river with a resounding splash.

He swam up to the surface, thankful he was all in one piece. His cooler bobbed up as well, and the broom came up soon after. Vernon swam over to the supplies, and dragged them over to where the Firebolt lay floating.

As he swam over, Vernon noticed something horrific. The broom had snapped in two. Vernon cringed. He wasn't worried about Harry, but his godfather was surely going to find out about this. Vernon knew he had to figure out a way to fix the broom, or his non-existent neck would be on the line.

Vernon got out of the river, carrying his supplies and broken broom, and looked around. He finally took a good look at his surroundings and realized- he was in Venice. Vernon marveled at the beautiful city. Just then, a young man and woman walked up next to him. It looked as if their clothes had been picked out by an alien who didn't know what people looked like. The man took a wand out of his pocket and swung it into the air, almost knocking Vernon back into the river.

"Hey, watch it!-" Vernon started, before a large, purple, gondola filled with beds appeared out of thin air in the middle of the river.

Vernon stuttered for a bit as one of the two men on the boat began to talk.

"'Ello-a! Welcome-a too the Crusada' Gondola. My name-a's Stanio Shunpike and I'll-a be conductin' you-a upon this fine-a evenin'."

Vernon stared at the men with his jaw dropped. The one conducting the couple onto the gondola was wiry, and barely 20 years old. The other man stood in the front of the boat, holding a large oar. This one was elderly, with large glasses. Both men seemed to have poorly placed false mustaches, and large amounts of clothes underneath their gondolier outfits.

"Right-a this way... there we go-a... OY! Were you coming-a or not, mate?"

Vernon stared.

"Me?"

"Yes-a I'm talkin' to you! 'Onestly, it's not-a like you'll sink the boat-a or anythin'!"

Vernon, flustered, stepped into the gondola and sat on one of the beds. He set his cooler and Harry's broken broom down beside him.

"Take 'er away-a, Ernio!"

The elderly man with the paddle dug into the water. The boat zoomed forward at an alarming rate. Vernon was forced back onto the bed, and the bed rolled to the back of the gondola. The boat zipped and swerved through the rivers of Venice.

"So are you actually Italian?"

"Wha'? Oh, yeah, of course-a I am. The Shunpikes are a very proud-a and 'onorable Italian family, we are, and-"

"No you're not. That's clearly a fake Italian accent. And that mustache is even worse."

"All righ', I'm Bri'ish. So wha'? You are too."

"Why are you driving a gondolier around?"

"Well, see, we've go' this Knight Bus thing, and it can only go on land, righ'? So I was like, 'ey, Ern, wha' if we made one that goes on wa'er?! Brillian', eh?"

"And Ernio agreed with this plan?"

"Well, 'e don' say much. Bu' I'm sure 'e agreed, or else we wouldn' be here, would we?"

"But why a gondola? Why not just a motor boat or something?"

"Look, mate, do I tell you 'ow to run your life? Anyways, where you headin' off to?"

Vernon thought for a second.

"It has to be water right? Just off the coast of Japan, then."

"All righ'. It'll cost you 'bout 12 Galleons to go tha' far."

Vernon paled. He didn't realize he'd need wizard money to ride a wizard boat. He reluctantly took his watch off, thinking of Dudley.

"Will this cover it?"

The conductor looked at the watch. His eyes popped open.

"Sure, I suppose we can make some sor' of arrangemen'..." said Stanio, pocketing the watch.

Shunpike turned around and watched Ernio drive. Vernon lay down on the bed and shut his eyes.

As he lay there, Vernon thought of his life back home.

"Ironic," he thought, "that Potter is living in my world while I romp around in his."

And then he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Vernon Dursley was awoken by Stanio poking him in his forehead.

"Oy. We're 'ere. Get up."

Vernon sat up. The beds were comfortable, but his back still ached. Vernon stretched, grabbed his cooler and broken broomstick, and stood up.

"Before I go, do you know anywhere I can get this broom fixed?"

"Can' be done. Once a broom like that's broken, it's broken. You'll 'ave to buy a new one in Diagon Alley."

"Diagon Alley. Is that in England?"

"It's in London, yeah. Were 'ave choo been livin'?"

Vernon ignored him and stepped off the boat. It sped off into the distance and disappeared. He finally got a good look around. He was definitely in Japan. From the looks of things, it was Tokyo. Tall buildings sprawled for what looked like miles. Vernon looked around and saw a nearby building, with the Sony logo on the side. He opened his cooler and grabbed a small device out. He knew what he must do.

Two guards stood on either side of the Sony headquarters. They looked up and down the streets. People hurried past, but nobody suspicious. Then they saw a giant, intimidating man, walking right towards them. Right as they were about to stop him, the large man turned away. They breathed a sigh of relief. Despite being security guards of a major tech company, they didn't get much action. Facing up against a big man like that was a bit frightening. So they continued to mull over the close encounter in their minds, filled with such relief that they didn't even notice the loud drilling sound coming from behind them.

Vernon Dursley crawled through a hole in the wall to a room behind the front desk, his miniature Grunnings Wall-Buster 1000-Speed Drill in hand. He broke down the door of the room, ran to the elevator, and pressed the "up" button. He waited for a few seconds before dashing over to the stairs. Vernon ran up the stairs to the top floor of the building. He exited and quickly found an office labeled "Norio Ohga: CEO".

Vernon body-slammed the door and saw a stunned man in his early sixties, sitting at a desk. Vernon realized how crazy he must look, holding a drill, dragging around a cooler and broken broomstick, dressed in only his nightgown.

"Give me," growled Vernon "a Playstation."

The man stared at Vernon.

"Ok," the man said in a heavy Japanese accent. "I give you prototype. Here."

The man brought the console out from behind his chair as he pushed a button under the desk. Vernon took the Playstation. It was heavy. It reminded him of Dudley. As he held it, a team of security officers ran into the office. Vernon looked at them, then back at Mr. Ohga. He weighed his options. To think, he came this far, only to fail here.

Then he looked at the big picture window behind the desk.

He ran towards Mr. Ohga, leapt over the desk, and slammed his girth against the glass. The window shattered and Vernon tumbled twenty-two stories to the street below.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Vernon Dursley landed in a conveniently placed open-air pillow truck that just happened to be driving by. He sat up, dazed and confused. He looked down at the Playstation in his hands. He did it. He got Dudley's present. The neighborhood and his reputation were saved.

Vernon sat up and grabbed the broken broom & cooler. He jumped out of the pillow truck onto the ground. Now, all he had to do was find a way back home. He ran back to the shore from whence he came. The Cavalier Gondola was gone, or at least not as far as Vernon could see. He turned away, dejected. There had to be some way to get back! He couldn't repair the broom... and he didn't have enough money for a plane ticket... there had to be something!

Suddenly, Vernon saw two strange men walking past. One was Japanese, and wearing a bright purple suit. The other man was wearing a green suit and bowler cap. He was clearly European of some sort, perhaps even British. Vernon's suspicions were confirmed immediately when the green clothed man stopped and began to speak to the purple one.

"Kaito, I do ask you to reconsider your plans for next month." said the man in a clear, upper class English accent. "I mean, it is the world cup after all. I would be honored if you joined me up in the box. The Bulgarian Minister's already agreed to come, you know."

The man in purple then said something in Japanese that Vernon was unable to understand.

"Very well. If your plans can't be changed, then they can't be changed. Well, I must be off. I have a meeting with Bagman back in London in ten minutes. I hope to see you again soon."

The man in the green suit walked away. The man in purple walked in the other direction. Vernon stared. How could a man travel from Tokyo to London in only ten minutes? Vernon ran after him.

The man in the bowler hat walked into a cozy-looking coffee shop. The only person in the room besides him was the woman behind the counter, and she was busy listening to her headphones plugged into a portable CD player. The suited man looked around to see if anybody else was looking. He then walked over to an unlit fireplace in the back of the room and took a pinch of what looked like gunpowder out of his pocket. The man threw the powder into the chamber.

"The UK Ministry of Magic!" shouted the man. A green fire lit in the fireplace. The strange man walked in and shot upwards. Vernon knew this was the only way to get back home. He ran into the coffee shop and dove into the green fire just as it was disappearing.

Vernon coughed. Everything around him was black. Then he realized that his eyes were closed. Vernon opened his eyes and saw a very fancy office around him. The room was very big, and there was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Vernon had landed on a beautiful rug. There was a large mahogany desk in the back of the room, with a leather chair and a window behind it. It was mid-morning outside. The weather was perfect. There was a paper package on the chair with a tag labeled "Send uniform to Bradford's desk". On the desk were neat stacks of papers, a wriggling cloth bag, and a plaque with the name "Cornelius Fudge: Minister of Magic" written on it. Vernon opened the cloth bag. There were three creatures inside. They looked to be oddly shaped lizards, almost... dragon-like. They were made of plastic and painted, but they moved as if they were alive. Vernon closed the bag and backed away from the desk.

Vernon stopped. Ministry of Magic. He remembered that name, from somewhere... ah, yes. The letter Potter got after he dropped the cake on Mrs. Mason's head two years ago. That letter mentioned a ministry. That must be where he is. Being a government agency, he was probably in London...

Vernon rushed to the window and looked out. Maybe he could figure out where he was by looking at the city streets below. But alas, there was no city. There was nothing out the window but a grassy field with flowers down ten stories beneath them.

Vernon heard footsteps coming from outside the office and jumped. He couldn't be discovered here. For a start, he looked nothing like a wizard. He looked down at the chair and opened the package. There was a violet robe and pointed hat inside. He put the robe over his nightgown. Luckily, whoever this "Bradford" guy was, he was clearly as big as him. Vernon put on the hat just as a man walked into the room.

The man was tall, thin, and blond. His clothes were fancy and expensive-looking. The man's very presence was intimidating.

"Ah, Bradford. I'm glad I've finally met my new personal assistant. How the minister hired you without my consent, I have no idea."

"Uhh... pleased to meet you, Mr..."

"Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy. Did Cornelius not even tell you my name? Tsk, tsk. Well, we'll soon be rid of him. So, Bradford, tell me about yourself. Are you pureblood?"

"Of course! I pride myself on coming from a pure family with no deformities or oddities. Well, none except for my nephew."

"Ah, a squib. What a shame, what a shame. It happens to the best of us. Well, you just have to move on. Sever ties with him. Prune the whole lot."

"Oh, believe me, I've been trying to prune my nephew for the past thirteen years."

"Good. I'm glad we're hitting it off, Bradford. What happened to that broom?"

"Umm... broke on an international flight, I'm afraid. I'm going to buy a new one when I get off from work."

"Well, I hope you have enough money on you. Firebolts are expensive, especially for someone with your economic stature."

"Just because I'm a personal assistant doesn't mean I'm poor! I may not be quite as wealthy as the likes of you, but I have my creature comforts. Did you know that I've won the England's Best-Kept Suburban Lawn for EIGHT years in a row?"

"Wow, really? That's impressive. Yaxley's been trying to win that one for ages. I can see that Cornelius chose wisely when he hired you, Bradford."

Suddenly, a large man wearing rags stepped into the doorframe.

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy? My name is Bradford. I'm your new personal assistant. Have you seen the robes I was supposed to get today?"

Malfoy stared at the man. Vernon ran to the door, pushing past Malfoy and Bradford. He ran to the nearest elevator and pulled the lever. Malfoy, Bradford, and two men who looked like security guards were hot on his tail.

Vernon landed on the bottom floor and looked around. He saw a fireplace at the end of the hall with a green fire. He ran towards it, shouting the first place he could think of.

"Diagon Alley!" Vernon yelled as he ran into the fire.

As Vernon was sucked upwards, he thought he heard Malfoy saying something like "Personally, I like him better than the real Bradford."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Vernon lay on his back on the floor of a store, right beside the fireplace. He looked around and saw towers of bookshelves around him. He stood up. There was nobody around. He seemed to be in some sort of library. He searched for the exit for a while before leaving the building. He turned around as he left. A sign on the door said "Out to lunch. Be back in 38 minutes." As Vernon stared at the sign, the '38' turned into a '37'. Vernon stepped back and looked up at the building. There was a large cutout of a book on the roof, with the words "Flourish and Blotts" next to it. He looked back down. This must be some sort of bookstore.

Vernon turned around. In the window across the street he finally saw what he was looking for- a broomstick. Furthermore, it looked exactly like Potter's! Vernon ran across the street and looked in the window. The tag on the broom said "Price on Request". Vernon sighed. He would need a lot of money to get this. But where could he possibly get that much money?

Vernon looked around. He saw a large, marble building at the end of the street. On the walls were carved the words "Gringotts Wizarding Bank". Vernon smiled. Potter had money, didn't he? Otherwise, how could he have afforded the broom in the first place? He would just take some money out of Potter's account to buy the replacement broomstick!

Vernon walked up to the entrance to the bank. There was a dragon carved above the door. Vernon gulped and walked inside.

There were rows of desks on either side, and a chandelier hanging above. Behind each desk was a strange creature, with bulbous heads, long fingers, pointed ears and hooked noses. There was a taller desk to the back. This also had one of the creatures behind it, and behind him was a mine cart. Vernon walked up to the creature.

"Errm... excuse me," said Vernon. The creature looked at Vernon. "I need to make a withdrawal from the account of Harry Potter."

The creature leaned towards Vernon.

"And do you have the key to the vault of Harry Potter?"

"Damn!" thought Vernon. "The one flaw in the plan!"

Vernon stared into the creature's eyes. Then, he quickly dashed around the desk and jumped into the mine cart. The cart started moving down the track.

"After him!" shouted the creature behind the tall desk. Vernon sped up as the track's sloped downward. Alarms went off. Vernon didn't know how far down he was, but he knew he couldn't stay in that mine cart for long. He jumped to the side and landed in front of a vault door. He looked back at the track. The cart sped away. A cart with three creatures quickly followed. As long as they still thought he was in that cart, Vernon thought, he was safe. Vernon turned around and looked at the vault next to him. Vernon put the Playstation, broken broom, & cooler next to him, took out the Wall-Buster, and began to drill the vault door. One minute later, the vault was still completely undamaged.

"The Wall-Buster is certainly harder than this door," Vernon mumbled. "but there isn't enough force behind it..."

Suddenly, two men in suits of armor loudly came up next to Vernon. They were each twice the size of Vernon's already large stature. Vernon stared at them and dropped his drill.

"Erm... yes? Can I help you?"

One of the men grunted and slammed his fist against the door. The second man walked slowly towards Vernon.

"Well, if it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you'll get! They didn't call me the Smeltings Academy heavyweight boxing champion for nothing!"

Vernon swung towards the second armored man. The man moved backwards to dodge, and fell over. The man put his arms behind him and started to push himself up. Vernon grabbed the man's leg and pulled to the side. The man lost balance and fell over the tracks into the abyss. Vernon looked back at the first man. The man had picked up Vernon's drill. Vernon slowly moved towards the vault door. The armored man swung the now activated drill straight at Vernon's head. Vernon dodged out of the way, and the full force of the drill was brought into the vault's hinge. The hinge broke, and the vault door landed on the large armored man, crushing him. Vernon snuck into the vault and quickly stuffed as many gold coins into his pockets as he could. He grabbed his things and was about to walk up on the tracks when he heard a voice coming up from below.

"There he is! Quick, call extra security!"

There was then a high-pitched whistle. The area below began to glow red. A large, dragon-like creature, was approaching. In fact, knowing this world, it probably was a dragon. The dragon's head passed Vernon on its way up the tracks.

"No, you stupid beast! You've passed him!"

Vernon looked around, and quickly jumped onto and hugged tightly the lizard's tail as it went past. There was a loud smashing sound as the dragon came up through the floor of the bank. Vernon jumped off the tail once he was on the surface, and walked out of the bank onto the streets. He looked back at the dragon. There was a chain around its neck, holding it to some place underneath the bank. Five people and six small creatures ran up to the beast. The people were shooting beams at the dragon with their wands, and the creatures were doing the same with their hands. The lizard roared and shot fire out of its mouth into the air. Vernon silently walked back towards the broom shop while everyone else was distracted by the dragon.

Vernon arrived at the store with the broomstick in the window. He walked in, marched over to the woman behind the counter, put a large pile of gold coins on the table, and pointed at the Firebolt.

"I would like one of those," Vernon said to the woman behind the desk.

"Very well," said the woman. She reached behind the counter and put a Firebolt on the desk. "That will be 400 galleons."

"Keep the change," barked Vernon, as he grabbed the broom, his things, and strutted out.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Privet Drive. The air was still, as it usually was. The sun would not be up for a few more hours still. The clear sky was broken up only by the sight of a large man riding a tiny broomstick with two boxes strapped to the back. Vernon landed in front of number 4. His home. He had not seen it for what felt like weeks. He quietly walked into the home. He tip-toed over to the cupboard under the stairs, careful not to trod on the large pile of presents covering the floor. Vernon unlocked the small room with the key which had fortunately not fallen out of his pocket. Luckily, Potter had no way of accessing his possessions, so he would never know that the broom had gone missing. Vernon then went back to the garage to return the cooler and bungee cord. Finally, he tucked the Playstation under his arm, and silently went upstairs to his room.

Vernon slowly walked towards his bed and tapped on Petunia's shoulder. His wife awoke in a start. Petunia jumped out of bed and stood up tall in front of her husband. She was about to scream at him about how he'd been missing for days, how he hadn't left a note, how worried they all were- when she saw the Playstation under his arm. All at once, she understood. Petunia pulled out a roll of wrapping paper out from under her pillow and began to wrap the present. Vernon watched as Petunia finished wrapping and left the room, only to return a minute later. Petunia climbed back into bed and fell asleep, and Vernon followed suit.

Morning. The summer sun was only just barely shining through the window when the stomping began in the hallway. Dudley was rushing to retrieve his presents. Vernon and Petunia sleepily fumbled out of bed and downstairs. Potter was not yet out of bed- he'd learned by now not to mess with Dudley's birthday. Petunia went to the kitchen to make coffee as Vernon sat on the couch and watched Dudley open each of his gifts. Sixty-eight boxes were opened, and each only served as a disappointment to Dudley. Then came the last present. The large boy tore off the wrapping paper with his eyes full of hope. The hope was fulfilled. The Playstation was sitting in Dudley's hands. Dudley looked up at his father inquisitively. Vernon nodded to his son. Dudley jumped up, overjoyed, and ran upstairs.

"I've got a Playstation! I've got a Playstation! Hey Potter, guess what you haven't got! That's right, a Playstation!"

Vernon smiled to himself. It was always good to see his son happy. Vernon slowly got up from the couch and followed his son upstairs. By the time Vernon arrived, Dudley was in his room, attempting to hook the Playstation up to his personal telly. Vernon stared out the open window as a breeze ruffled his short hair. This day would not have come, Vernon realized, if it weren't for magic. If it weren't for magic, he'd be watching his son being driven away in a police car after having eaten half of all the neighbors. Ever since the day Petunia told him about that side of her family, Vernon made a promise to her and to himself to keep all forms of magic away from their perfect life. Perhaps he had misjudged what he once thought was odd, evil, and unwelcome. Perhaps he had misjudged magic.

Suddenly, Vernon heard light footsteps to his right. The sounds of Petunia singing "Happy Birthday" could be heard coming from the hallway. Petunia pushed open the door slightly more than it already was, and entered with a plate. Dudley stopped connecting the Playstation to the television and stared at his mother intently. At that moment, Vernon realized that there was not much light in the room. There was nothing but the sunlight coming in through the window and the candle on the plate Petunia carried. The song ended, but Dudley continued to stare. Vernon looked at his son, then back at his wife. Petunia stood there, wondering what her son was thinking, while holding the plate which contained a candle stuck into a single quarter of grapefruit.

Suddenly, Dudley jumped towards his mother, roaring. Vernon could do nothing but watch. Dudley slapped the plate out of her hands and yelled that there was no cake. Petunia sobbed that his diet didn't allow cake. Dudley roared again, then turned around and grabbed the Playstation off the ground. He hoisted the Playstation over his head, pulling out the cords and almost yanking the television off the shelf in the process. Dudley then threw the console out of the open window. Vernon's eyes went wide as he jumped up to look out the window. Vernon peered down at the driveway. The Playstation had completely smashed against the concrete.

A vein bulged in Vernon's head. This never should have happened. He hated Sony for not making a stronger console. He hated the school for forcing Dudley to go on that diet. He hated the people who poured the driveway, the people who made the window, and even the weather man who predicted there would be no wind.

But most of all, Vernon hated magic.


End file.
